I stared through the window at the looming landscape as the bus meandered through Lower Chautauqua, Flagstaff Mountain rising in the background.
The CrossFit HQ team was in Boulder, Colorado, for an all-company retreat, and the bus had taken us — the Media and Marketing team — straight from the airport to the trailhead for a team hike.
The plan: trek the Gregory Canyon trail up to the picturesque Realization Point. Described as a “moderately difficult” traverse, the path begins at 5,600 feet and rises approximately 900 more. A few locals boasted the challenge of the loop’s first leg. Straight up, they said, as the visitors joked about sucking wind in Colorado’s thinner air.
I said nothing.
It took about 10 seconds for me to fall to the back of the pack; maybe 30 for my heart rate to hit max. My nearly 300-pound self trailed behind my much-fitter colleagues, who were soon dots in the distance several switchbacks ahead.
I paused every 15 feet or so to gasp for breath.
I’d never felt less like a CrossFit athlete.
And I’d also never been more wrong.
An example of a CrossFit athlete in action. (Photo by Duke Loren)
Several months later, I boarded a plane bound for California and another round of planning sessions with my team. Recently recommitted to my fitness and about 20 pounds lighter, I was excited to show off my progress.
Yet, it still took a Herculean effort to clasp the seat belt around my lap, and I questioned once more: “What am I even doing here?”
Later, I confessed my angst to my colleagues.
“How can I have done CrossFit for 10 years,” I bemoaned, “and still struggle with this? Am I even a CrossFit athlete?”
A teammate then said something I’ve thought about nearly every day since.
“All we ask is that you show up and do the work.”
Show up. Do the work.
Not “do the work perfectly,” or “do the same amount of work as everyone else,” or “do the work every single day without screwing up.”
I’d been judging myself as though all the work I have done over the past decade — 2,000 workouts, give or take — didn’t count because I’m not where I want to be. Because I’ve lost weight and gained it back; gained skills and let them go. But the very fact that I’ve experienced ups and downs, success and backslides, and kept coming back — that’s what makes me a CrossFit athlete.
Another example of a CrossFit athlete in action.
It’s been said that the “greatest adaptation to CrossFit takes place between the ears,” and I agree. CrossFit teaches you to keep going when things get tough. And sometimes, they get so tough you fail.
You miss the lift. You fail the rep. You get time-capped.
But that doesn’t negate the work you did to get to that point. You still benefit from the effort — both physically and mentally — and that mental strengthening will see you to the next success and get you through the next failure, in the gym and in life.
Maybe all that time it seemed like I was backsliding — getting heavier; losing my fitness — I was also building mental strength. Because despite the setbacks and the seeming regression, I kept trying.
And now, I define success a little differently.
In 2013, I could do rebounding 20-inch box jumps. Impressive, I thought.
What’s more impressive to me now? Diligently working over months to get the 20-inch box back after not being able to jump higher than a foot for three years. Doing burpees over the bar after years of scaling to no-jump burpees. Just getting to the gym four or five days per week when all I’d like to do is lie in bed. That’s success.
We showed up. We did work.
I did not reach Realization Point that day in Boulder.
I got maybe halfway up when a colleague — who’d kindly stayed behind to make the climb by my side — gently suggested we turn back.
But I showed up. I did the work I was capable of doing; I gave everything I had in that moment to give.
And that’s all we ask.
Show up. Do the work.
And when you fail, come back — and start working again.
About the Author
Brittney Saline is Senior Writer and Editor for CrossFit, LLC. Previously, she was a writer and editor for the CrossFit Journal. She’s been sharing powerful stories from and for the CrossFit community since 2012, covering topics ranging from problems with healthcare and Big Pharma to CrossFit’s potential for reversing symptoms of Parkinson’s disease to discourses on femininity and musculature. She lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and her favorite CrossFit workouts feature lots of heavy lifting. Got a story to share? Email Brittney here.
What Makes a CrossFit Athlete?
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